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    After China I worked and studied in Moscow, Russia on and off for a little over two years. While I found Moscow to be a fascinating place-it has a very active culture and arts community , a lively counter culture and a very wild club scene, I did not feel as at home there as I did in China. The people in Moscow are very well educated and cultured with a strong literary bent . I felt very bad to see the almost total economic and moral collapse of Russian society and the extreme poverty most of the population was reduced to under western prescribed  economic “shock therapy”.  Moscow has
long had a reputation of being “racy” and sexually uninhibited but  at that time it was  becoming increasingly difficult for me to identify and live as a male. I went though an intense reading stage, buying every English language book I could find on transgenderism that seemed useful, first concentrating  on  cross dressing, and then on transsexualism. Over the space of about a year I spent close to 1000 USD on these books This reading provided important validation that it was okay at least to be a cross dresser, if that’s what I was.
     I made several extended trips though Eastern and Western Europe. I visited several drag bars in Prague. Later I spent time in Manchester’s “Gay Village”  frequenting “tranny pubs”in that city and I visited  London’s “Way Out Club”, one of the centers of the CD/TG scene in London. I had the opportunity to meet some drop dead gorgeous transgendered fashion models at that club. During this period I also spent untold hours on the Internet, reading about the lives of other transgendered women. I had several extensive email conversations with transsexual women who shared aspects of their lives with me and  did a lot to show me that I was not alone in my transgendered feelings.
    After some time working in Europe I came back to the States and stayed with my parents in a small town in central Vermont. I worked for a time as a special education paraprofessional, helping autistic, mentally retarded and emotionally disturbed children. I also joined a New Hampshire based cross dressing organization, Tri Ess New England. The Tri Ess group are among the nicest group of people I’ve known and have done a lot to help me accept that I’m  transgendered . After some time I became heavily involved in the Boston area cross dressing scene and I became a frequent visitor of area bars and clubs “accepting diversity”. While I’m not at heart a “clubber”, I generally feel uncomfortable in clubs and bars ,more preferring intimate get togethers with close friends, going to these places provided an important validation of my emerging womanhood.
     Two excellent therapists, one in Vermont and one in the Boston area  did a lot to helped me finally accept my true identity. I’ve been on  hormones for a year .I’m growing beasts and my hips are rounding out. This is enormously satisfying for me! I’ve returned to school to study computer science at a Boston area technical institute . I’m studying Oracle SQL database development, Visual Basic, XML, and Java. It’s a lot of work but I love doing it. I hope to be working in that industry in the very near future, perhaps connected to the Asian market, living and working full time as the woman I truly am!